The Kid was like Ice cubes on a hot plate, just 17 years old and off a hospice that tried to care for her during days she was on medication and an exhibitionist. The other days were better days, and she was her pretty self, matching hair clips, footwear and docile smile.
Not today. She glared at me thru’ kohl lined eyes wide with somethings I could never understand from where I was sitting. Not just physically. For one mini minute fear coursed through me : what did I professionally know to say to this young person who had been robbed of a family so very young, been through at least two foster homes in an out of India ? What could I know enough to say except what came instinctively, which was ?
” Now what you wanta say uh Mrs R?” and she smashed her forehead against the wall. I went calm inside, as some of her ice melted my walls.
We started drawing on sheets of paper : she took the pencils from me and drew fire. A road accident. A tsunami. Stories of how and when her parents were separated from her. Later I heard these were her versions of her early years, not true, but her way of forgiving ‘ them’.
Two weeks later, Ritu found her voice. She had this sweet singing voice, husky almost. We did Psalm 121, in mime with the other kids, and Ritu voicing it. She needed the special role, the solo bit, needed to stand out, be different, loved. It was scary to look at such need. Close up.
It is there in all of us, I know. When we do not get it, at some level of development or growing, we start reacting. This is my way of understanding Ritu’s rage.
Psalm 121 might be a deviation from Ritu’s story. She was not my case and I had no business interfering with the treatment she was getting at a local Hospital ; I was there as a mother of a school mate, which was why, maybe, she let down her guard …
I wish we would know where we keep our guards, and let them take a walk. There is no thin fine line between normal and abnormal, and yet some minds need their required medication. Am just wondering if ” medication’ needs a closer look.
I wish I knew more, but the little I’ve seen of everyday people in our streets/ road rage, regular successful normal guys who go home and beat up their wives/ date rape/pedestrian terror/ the more you see of Crime in everyday places, am thinking one thing ” Our Minds” need more attention than we know.
- A World of Suppressed Rage (aumparasamgate.wordpress.com)
- Coping with Anger (borderlionblog.wordpress.com)
- Why are You Instantly Angry Over Little Stuff? (exhaustedwoman.com)
- Anger Issues (lazariamarketing.wordpress.com)
- Is there righteous anger ever? (teachingsofmasters.wordpress.com)