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interview shortly …
When we still in school Moua would call us around her for Sunday prayers after ghee rice lunch sometimes under the Casuarina trees overlooking the sapphire Bay of Bengal. She used to have these wide dark eyes fringed with lashes so black you wondered if that was mascara, but of course it wasn’t. Moua was not exactly an aunt, nor old enough to be one, but she was full of kindness. I remembered her today because of another person Kavi L and not so prone to kindnesses, which is her right, but she has the same brilliance like Moua – what’s with these people ?
Three hours after Kavi L finished her chatter on painting and how people who ‘pay peanuts must be monkeys’ or something like that,we walked past the bazaar where old things and stolen things are sold as antique but you might find the Kohinoor diamond who knows….
well, Kavi L turns around and says this slow and clear, ‘I love the power I receive after praying and don’t let anyone rubbish that…”
I didn’t dare ask anymore questions ; the sun sinks back a bit at the grin on Kavi’s face.
Dry broke God nah!- You drop skies of fire gold
Light falling in the soul Dearest let it Rain
let go of the night, things we never did or could,
things lost and not to behold, we waited for dawn we
lived in the dusk, now a new thing : deserts filled with rain
depths untouched hold flood gates of heaven
how could we have known if we never
were parched earth long enough
knowing the thirst, seeing the quenching
never letting it,
but now asking the healing …
let it rain
I spent so much time upset about my neighbours’ rudeness, about intolerance and casteism, about rape and brutalities, about garbage disposal failure and cultural mean- nesses. Till God shoved me against the Wall and asked me for the nth time to forgive. To be good to those around me. Even myself.
So took out my broom and rinsed scraped- swept out my life ; now I stand horrified at the Unforgiven places of my life. How I never forgive, how I have played host to people I cannot say ” NO ” to, what a people pleaser I have been my entire life ! I saw that, and could never forgive, even myself.
Have you been there ? Oh just get out, get a life, no one asks us to serve life sentences like that. Some may ask, what this watercolour painting has to do with this post ? I have no idea. It just went together – belongs to a watercolour series ( sold) called Seasons of the soul..